Tumblelog by Soup.io
Newer posts are loading.
You are at the newest post.
Click here to check if anything new just came in.

July 08 2018

pea-pea
21:00
8171 02d5 350
Reposted frommangoe mangoe viav3bso v3bso
pea-pea
20:59
9777 f2ce 350
Reposted fromnazarena nazarena viav3bso v3bso

July 07 2018

pea-pea
23:09
Nie poddawaj się, istnieją szanse, że Twój najlepszy pocałunek, najmocniejszy wybuch śmiechu i najwspanialszy dzień są jeszcze przed Tobą.
Reposted fromxalchemic xalchemic viacytaty cytaty

July 06 2018

pea-pea
22:50
“(...) dlaczego jesteśmy w stanie kochać ludzi, którzy ani trochę na tę miłość nie zasługują, a innych godnych naszej uwagi, mijamy bez słowa?”
— Lucy M. Montgomery
Reposted fromxalchemic xalchemic viacytaty cytaty
pea-pea
22:45
Jak jesteś miła to zazwyczaj dostaniesz po dupie, bo za miłą przecież nie można być. Ludzie zaraz Cię zjedzą. Jak jesteś asertywna, to powiedzą, że jesteś suką. Jak jesteś szczera, to połowa ludzkości Cię znienawidzi. Jak prześpisz się z facetem to jesteś dziwką, a jak tego nie zrobisz to albo jesteś lesbijką, albo coś jest z Tobą nie tak. Jak się do kogoś nie odzywasz, bo chwilowo potrzebujesz samotności , to oskarżają Cię, że masz kogoś w dupie i sypie się lawina pretensji i żali. Jak wychodzisz poza ogólnie przyjęte schematy, to większość nazwie Cię hipokrytą. Jak nic nie mówisz, to zostaniesz mrukiem. Jak za dużo gadasz, to usłyszysz, że strzępisz językiem niepotrzebnie. Jak zajmiesz się przede wszystkim swoim życiem, to jesteś egoistką . Jak zadzwonisz do faceta, to się narzucasz, a jak nie zadzwonisz to usłyszysz, że o nim nie myślisz i go nie kochasz. Jak wiele rzeczy zrobisz dobrze, a raz jedną źle, to ludzie zazwyczaj dostrzegą tylko to co zrobiłaś źle.
— znalezione
Reposted fromdunkellicht dunkellicht viacytaty cytaty

February 17 2018

pea-pea
11:20

February 16 2018

pea-pea
22:10
4097 07ae 350
Reposted fromzciach zciach
pea-pea
22:07

HOW OUR HEARTS ARE CHANGED BY BETRAYAL

 

You haven’t always been this way.

You haven’t always been a body lined with thorns, a heart wrapped in razor wire; hard lines and jaded eyes.

Distant, aloof, guarded.

There was a time you were shades of pastel; when your heart knew love, and trust rested freely upon your fingertips.

There was a time your days were painted with innocence. Where eager eyes gazed at the world with hope and wonder, your heart still shiny and new.

But all of this changed the moment you were betrayed by someone you loved. Someone you trusted. Someone who should have protected you. Someone who hurt you instead. Someone who allowed you to be hurt by others.

There is little else that shatters a heart as much as the pain of betrayal. It tears you open, rips your heart out of your chest. You don’t want to put it back, you want to leave it on the floor to bleed until there is nothing left, until the blood runs dry and you no longer have to feel a damn thing anymore. But you can’t. You have to go on. So you pick your heart off the floor and place it back inside your hollow chest.

Except, the heart that you put back is never the same heart. It is wounded, war-torn. It no longer seeks love, but only to protect itself from the pain of ever being betrayed again.

A heart that is betrayed is changed forever.

No longer will it trust anyone again, but greets every person with reservation and fear; wary of a world that has proven to only take advantage for its own benefit. It remains hyper-vigilant in its desperate need to prove itself right; forever searching for the cracks inside another person that prove they too are unworthy of trust. It needs to know its enemy. It needs to remain one step in front at all times. Kindness is met with suspicion, for your heart has learned nothing comes without a cost – there are always strings, always an agenda. Your heart rejects kindness, remains cynical of it, refuses to accept it. It would rather suffer on its own than accept kindness that allows it to become vulnerable to another.

Your heart no longer knows how to trust itself either, and it makes vows to stay hard, to stay tough. Never will I want again. Never will I need again. Never will I trust again. Never will I love again. These vows are the cornerstones of the fortress it builds around itself, the strongholds that keep the walls in place. It gives up hope of ever being protected and instead learns to protect itself. It becomes a slave to its independence, its autonomy. Here, in its fortress, it is safe. Here, behind its walls, it can remain distant, removed.

Here, your heart can trust itself not to feel. 

For betrayal has taught your heart how dangerous it is to feel. To want, to need. To desire love, relationship, connection. No, your heart must deaden itself to its desires. It must wake each morning with one goal of attack – to kill your hungry soul. To destroy your desires before they destroy you. Your heart cannot afford to want, it is too dangerous, too much of a risk that will lead to being hurt again. This is how your heart stays safe – it refuses to be tempted by love ever again.

Except, your heart was created for relationship. Your heart was created for intimacy. But intimacy is the enemy, the biggest threat. Intimacy requires your heart to be vulnerable, to let someone close. To betray its own desires in the hope it will not be betrayed because of them. Intimacy is the most dangerous of all, and your heart turns itself away and chooses to live without hope of relationship, of closeness, of oneness with another.

Betrayal has changed your heart.

It has damaged your heart.

It has left it powerless, helpless, vulnerable, wounded, damaged, guarded, broken. Your heart can no longer trust, does not trust. It no longer believes in the goodness of anyone else’s heart. It no longer believes it is worthy of being loved, of being protected. It is tired from living in a constant state of anticipation and expectation that it will be hurt and betrayed once more. It no longer wants to love, no longer knows how to love. It has become numb, deadened to its desires, and you tell yourself you are content with this.

That here, you are safe. You are in control. You are untouchable.

Except, you are lonely. So goddamn lonely.

And this is the paradox of betrayal.

You are scared of relationship, yet relationship is the very thing that will heal your heart.

Dear heart, there is a need for you to be safe.

But there is a greater need for you to be loved.

The only way to heal is through love. You must find the courage to pull down your fortress. It has kept you safe. But you have dwelled long enough in your solitude. In your loneliness. It is time to lay down your weapons. Surrender is not defeat, but the end of the fight.

To love is to risk hurt. To trust is to risk betrayal. But you must risk so that you may heal.

Your heart has learned how to stay safe, how to survive.

Now, it must learn how to once again love.

— Kathy Parker
Reposted fromsupposedtobe supposedtobe
pea-pea
22:06

Foolish girl,

You turn away from the world because you believe the mistakes you have made are tattooed all over your body and that is all the world can see; marks of shame you cannot wipe clean no matter how many years you scrub your skin until no more blood can seep from your pores still stained with filth and sin.

You turn away from the world because you believe you are defined by your past, by the choices you made when there were no other choices; that you are bound to the girl you once were by the invisible ropes still tied around your hands and feet, held in place by words of shame that will never deliver you from their grasp.

You turn away from the world because you believe you are not deserving to hold your head high and look it in the eye; that you carry a scarlet letter upon your forehead that will blind those who dare to look your way, and you cannot stand to see the way they turn their face from your tainted humanity.

You forget, foolish girl.

You forget what you have survived.

You forget you fought alone against the world when your hands were too small to defeat the weight of it, and so you took it on as your own even though it almost crushed you.

You forget you were betrayed by those who should have protected you and so you barricaded yourself behind hard edges and sharp corners and promised to never trust or need another again.

You forget the way love was shown as abuse and abuse was shown as love and the shame you were forced to carry because of the way you longed to be loved even when that looked like abuse.

You forget you sat alone in a room filled with despair as your hands shook and blood trailed down your wrist and in that moment when you could have chosen death, you chose life.

You forget you have every reason to be hard, but you choose to remain soft. You have every reason to hate, but you choose to show mercy. You have every reason to cast judgment, but you choose to speak grace. You have every reason to f*ck this world the way it has f*cked you, but you choose to heal it instead.

You forget you have survived what most people never could.

Foolish girl, you are not foolish at all.

You are a warrior.

You are strength. You are bravery. You are courage. You are hope. You are light. You are truth. You are love. You are survival. You are kindness. You are wisdom. You are redemption. You are transformation. You are revolution.

And most of all, you are worthy.

To love, and to be loved.

You just need to believe it.

— Kathy Parker
Reposted fromsupposedtobe supposedtobe

February 14 2018

pea-pea
23:40
4954 8d98 350
Reposted fromcalifornia-love california-love viabudas budas
pea-pea
23:35
5117 02ec 350
Reposted frommadn madn viabudas budas
pea-pea
23:32
4009 e6c2 350
Reposted fromPoranny Poranny viapiar piar
pea-pea
23:24
Reposted fromoski oski viazieloonomi zieloonomi
pea-pea
23:24
3738 9789 350
Reposted frommiscreant-at-life miscreant-at-life viapiar piar
22:38
pea-pea
22:37
0380 cd15 350
Reposted fromantichris antichris viazupamarzen zupamarzen
pea-pea
22:35
1541 3ca4 350
Reposted fromdarkanes darkanes viazupamarzen zupamarzen
pea-pea
22:32
Kiedy będziesz chciał się poddać,  Kiedy będziesz chciał odpuścić,  Kiedy zabraknie Ci odwagi, Kiedy stracisz z oczu cel, Kiedy stwierdzisz, że zgubiłeś sens,  Kiedy będziesz zły, zrezygnowany i smutny.  Przypomnij sobie, że kiedyś umrzesz. I spróbuj jeszcze raz, bo na razie masz czas, aby zmienić wszystko.
— N. Belcik
Reposted fromswojszlak swojszlak viazupamarzen zupamarzen
pea-pea
17:49
gdy jesteśmy młodzi, często nie wiemy jeszcze, czego tak naprawdę pragnie nasze serce. Dręczy nas obawa, że przejdzie nam coś obok nosa, i choć mamy przed sobą całe życie, wydaje się, że czas przecieka nam przez palce. Boimy się, że jeśli nie zrobimy czegoś od razu, to nie zrobimy tego nigdy.
— Charlotte Link "Dom sióstr"
pea-pea
08:33
Pierdolę. Nie będę obniżać standardów, bo oni tak mówią. Będe czekać na swojego księcia i albo miłość mnie sponiewiera, albo się wcale nie zakocham. Amen.
— taka ja
Reposted fromnieuciekaj nieuciekaj viasubiektywne subiektywne
Older posts are this way If this message doesn't go away, click anywhere on the page to continue loading posts.
Could not load more posts
Maybe Soup is currently being updated? I'll try again automatically in a few seconds...
Just a second, loading more posts...
You've reached the end.

Don't be the product, buy the product!

Schweinderl